Recovering from Sexual Abuse; What Needs to Be Done?

Speak Out Loud: After recognizing that you were sexually abused, the first step is to say it out loud to safe people repeatedly until those words lose their power.

Give the Ick Back: Acknowledge the uncomfortable feelings and residue left by the abuse and actively reject and return these to the abuser, freeing yourself from carrying that burden.

No Isolation - Relate to Others: Avoid isolating yourself. Engage with support groups, watch relevant documentaries, and connect with others who can relate to your experience, thus breaking the feeling of solitude and building a supportive community.

Acknowledgment is Key: It's essential to acknowledge the abuse for your adult self and your inner child, recognizing the innocence and trust that were exploited and working through feelings like anger and rage.

Build Letting Go Muscles: Develop resilience and the ability to let go of hyper-vigilance and anxiety by using everyday inconveniences as opportunities to practice releasing control and reducing stress.

Learn About Codependency: Many abuse survivors find that they exhibit codependent behaviors. Understanding and addressing these can help in establishing healthier personal boundaries and relationships.

Affirm Your Worth: Constantly affirm your inherent worth regardless of your past experiences, ensuring that you recognize and value your thoughts, feelings, and needs.

Watch for Pendulum Swings: Be mindful of extreme changes in behavior, especially regarding sexuality, which might swing from asexuality to hypersexuality as a control mechanism post-abuse.

Seek Qualified Help: It's crucial to work with a qualified therapist (with a minimum of a master’s degree in a relevant field) who is experienced in handling trauma and whom you feel safe with.

Love Yourself Fiercely: Embrace self-love, which involves pushing yourself when necessary, resting when needed, and continually working on self-respect and boundary-setting.